ONE HUNDRED MERRIE AND DELIGHTSOME STORIES
Right Pleasaunte To Relate In All Goodly Companie By Way Of Joyance And Jollity
LES CENT NOUVELLES NOUVELLES
Now First Done Into The English Tongue By Robert B. Douglas
Various Authors
Edited by Antoine de la Salle
Illustrated by Léon Lebèque
Paris
Charles Carrington
13 Faubourg Montmartre
1899
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
STORY THE FIRST -- THE REVERSE OF THE MEDAL.
The first story tells of how one found means to enjoy the wife of his neighbour, whose husband he had sent away in order that he might have her the more easily, and how the husband returning from his journey, found his friend bathing with his wife. And not knowing who she was, he wished to see her, but was permitted only to see her back--, and then thought that she resembled his wife, but dared not believe it. And thereupon left and found his wife at home, she having escaped by a postern door, and related to her his suspicions.
STORY THE SECOND -- THE MONK-DOCTOR.
The second story, related by Duke Philip, is of a young girl who had piles, who put out the only eye he had of a Cordelier monk who was healing her, and of the lawsuit that followed thereon.
STORY THE THIRD -- THE SEARCH FOR THE RING.
Of the deceit practised by a knight on a miller’s wife whom he made believe that her front was loose, and fastened it many times. And the miller informed of this, searched for a diamond that the knight’s lady had lost, and found it in her body, as the knight knew afterwards: so he called the miller “fisherman”, and the miller called him “fastener”.
STORY THE FOURTH -- THE ARMED CUCKOLD.
The fourth tale is of a Scotch archer who was in love with a fair and gentle dame, the wife of a mercer, who, by her husband’s orders appointed a day for the said Scot to visit her, who came and treated her as he wished, the said mercer being hid by the side of the bed, where he could see and hear all.
STORY THE FIFTH -- The Duel with the Buckle-Strap.
The fifth story relates two judgments of Lord Talbot. How a Frenchman was taken prisoner (though provided with a safe-conduct) by an Englishman, who said that buckle-straps were implements of war, and who was made to arm himself with buckle-straps and nothing else, and meet the Frenchman, who struck him with a sword in the presence of Talbot. The other, story is about a man who robbed a church, and who was made to swear that he would never enter a church again.
STORY THE SIXTH --THE DRUNKARD IN PARADISE.
The sixth story is of a drunkard, who would confess to the Prior of the Augustines at the Hague, and after his confession said that he was then in a holy state and would die; and believed that his head was cut off and that he was dead, and was carried away by his companions who said they were going to bury him.
STORY THE SEVENTH -- THE WAGGONER IN THE BEAR.
Of a goldsmith of Paris who made a waggoner sleep with him and his wife, and how the waggoner dallied with her from behind, which the goldsmith perceived and discovered, and of the words which he spake to the waggoner.
STORY THE EIGHTH -- TIT FOR TAT.
Of a youth of Picardy who lived at Brussels, and made his master’s daughter pregnant, and for that cause left and came back to Picardy to be married. And soon after his departure the girl’s mother perceived the condition of her daughter, and the girl confessed in what state she was; so her mother sent her to the Picardian to tell him that he must undo that which he had done. And how his new bride refused then to sleep with him, and of the story she told him, whereupon he immediately left her and returned to his first love, and married her.
STORY THE NINTH -- THE HUSBAND PANDAR TO HIS OWN WIFE.
Of a knight of Burgundy, who was marvellously amorous of one of his wife’s waiting women, and thinking to sleep with her, slept with his wife who was in the bed of the said tire-woman. And how he caused, by his order, another knight, his neighbour to sleep with the said woman, believing that it was really the tirewoman--and afterwards he was not well pleased, albeit that the lady knew nothing, and was not aware, I believe, that she had had to do with aught other than her own husband.
STORY THE TENTH -- THE EEL PASTIES.
Of a knight of England, who, after he was married, wished his mignon to procuré him some pretty girls, as he did before; which the mignon would not do, saying that one wife sufficed; but the said knight brought him back to obedience by causing eel pasties to be always served to him, both at dinner and at supper.
STORY THE ELEVENTH -- A SACRIFICE TO THE DEVIL.
Of a jealous rogue, who after many offerings made to divers saints to curé him of his jealousy, offered a candle to the devil who is usually painted under the feet of St. Michael; and of the dream that he had and what happened to him when he awoke.
STORY THE TWELFTH -- THE CALF.
Of a Dutchman, who at all hours of the day and night ceased not to dally with his wife in love sports; and how it chanced that he laid her down, as they went through a wood, under a great tree in which was a labourer who had lost his calf. And as he was enumerating the charms of his wife, and naming all the pretty things he could see, the labourer asked him if he could not see the calf he sought, to which the Dutchman replied that he thought he could see a tail.
STORY THE THIRTEENTH -- THE CASTRATED CLERK.
How a lawyer’s clerk in England deceived his master making him believe that he had no testicles, by which reason he had charge over his mistress both in the country and in the town, and enjoyed his pleasure.
STORY THE FOURTEENTH -- THE POPE-MAKER, OR THE HOLY MAN.
Of a hermit who deceived the daughter of a poor woman, making her believe that her daughter should have a son by him who should become Pope; and how, when she brought forth it was a girl, and thus was the trickery of the hermit discovered, and for that cause he had to flee from that countery.
STORY THE FIFTEENTH -- THE CLEVER NUN.
Of a nun whom a monk wished to deceive, and how he offered to shoo her his weapon that she might feel it, but brought with him a companion whom he put forward in his place, and of the answer she gave him.
STORY THE SIXTEENTH -- ON THE BLIND SIDE.
Of a knight of Picardy who went to Prussia, and, meanwhile his lady took a lover, and was in bed with him when her husband returned; and how by a cunning trick she got her lover out of the room without the knight being aware of it.
STORY THE SEVENTEENTH -- THE LAWYER AND THE BOLTING-MILL.
Of a President of Parliament, who fell in love with his chamber-maid, and would have forced her whilst she was sifting flour, but by fair speaking she dissuaded him, and made him shake the sieve whilst she went unto her mistress, who came and found her husband thus, as you will afterwards hear.
STORY THE EIGHTEENTH -- FROM BELLY TO BACK.
Of a gentleman of Burgundy who paid a chambermaid ten crowns to sleep with her, but before he left her room, had his ten crowns back, and made her carry him on her shoulders through the host’s chamber. And in passing by the said chamber he let wind so loudly that all was known, as you will hear in the story which follows.
STORY THE NINETEENTH -- THE CHILD OF THE SNOW.
Of an English merchant whose wife had a child in his absence, and told him that it was his; and how he cleverly got rid of the child--for his wife having asserted that it was born of the snow, he declared it had been melted by the sun.
STORY THE TWENTIETH -- THE HUSBAND AS DOCTOR.
Of a young squire of Champagne who, when he married, had never mounted a Christian creature,--much to his wife’s regret. And of the method her mother found to instruct him, and how the said squire suddenly wept at a great feast that was made shortly after he had learned how to perform the carnal act--as you will hear more plainly hereafter.
STORY THE TWENTY-FIRST -- THE ABBESS CURED
Of an abbess who was ill for want of--you know what--but would not have it done, fearing to be reproached by her nuns, but they all agreed to do the same and most willingly did so.
STORY THE TWENTY-SECOND -- THE CHILD WITH TWO FATHERS.
Of a gentleman who seduced a young girl, and then went away and joined the army. And before his return she made the acquaintance of another, and pretended her child was by him. When the gentleman returned from the war he claimed the child, but she begged him to leave it with her second lover, promising that the next she had she would give to him, as is hereafter recorded.
STORY THE TWENTY-THIRD -- THE LAWYER’S WIFE WHO PASSED THE LINE.
Of a clerk of whom his mistress was enamoured, and what he promised to do and did to her if she crossed a line which the said clerk had made. Seeing which, her little son told his father when he returned that he must not cross the line; or said he, “the clerk will serve you as he did mother.”
STORY THE TWENTY-FOURTH -- HALF-BOOTED.
Of a Count who would ravish by force a fair, young girl who was one of his subjects, and how she escaped from him by means of his leggings, and how he overlooked her conduct and helped her to a husband, as is hereafter related.